I am aware that the majority of photos I post of Adam on here (as well as Facebook and Twitter) show him either smiling because he is happy and having fun, or smiling in the face of adversity. But smiling nonetheless. I am proud of his smile; it lights up our lives.
However, just once in a while I feel an intense need to show the other side of what our little boy has to go through. I just have to get it off my chest. I am not a wordsmith, I can't tell the story anything like as well as these two photographs taken 20 days apart. Take a look at them. And then try and imagine this is your child, and what it must feel like to see them go through this - to have knowingly consented to put them through it.
|26th January 2011||16th February 2011|
Now thank your lucky stars it isn't your child. And pray it isn't a fate that ever befalls somebody in your family.
And whilst your thinking about that, why not also think about how you might help make a difference, a change for the better; give blood, become a platelet donor, setup a regular donation to a charity of your choosing, send a sick child some love via postpals (http://www.postpals.co.uk/), sign a petition to get Neuroblastoma better recognised (http://www.gopetition.com/petition/42787/sign.html#se), help out your local hospital, sign-up as a charitable volunteer, or maybe just make a bit more time for your own kids.
I will freely admit that before Adam was diagnosed I was apathetical about all of this stuff. We lived our nice cosy lives in ignorant bliss of this 'other world'. Sure we donated money to some or other charity every now and again, but I could never say I did whatever I could.
Why am I saying all this now? I don't really know to be honest. Do I want people to be feel sorry for us, for me? No, that's not my intention. Do I envy people who are still living a nice cosy life? No, it would be pointless and serve no purpose whatsoever. Do I think less of people who want to count their blessings, turn a blind-eye, and walk on? Not really, I can see enough of my old self in that behaviour to be a hypocrite if I did.
I suppose I just think that today instead of posting a picture of Adam smiling like a little boy without a care in the world, if one person reads this and does something tomorrow, or next week, or next month, that they wouldn't have otherwise done then I'll have done something useful today - instead of just sitting around feeling particularly useless. And if not, at least for today, I will have tried to do something useful, to find a positive where seemingly none existed.